FVRI, cui neque seruus est neque arca
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1
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Furius, you who have neither a slave, nor a money-box,
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nec cimex neque araneus neque ignis,
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2
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nor a bug, nor a spider, nor a fire,
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uerum est et pater et nouerca, quorum
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3
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but who have a father and a stepmother too,
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dentes uel silicem comesse possunt,
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4
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whose teeth can chew even a flintstone,
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est pulcre tibi cum tuo parente
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5
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you lead a merry life with your father
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et cum coniuge lignea parentis.
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6
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and with that dry stick, your father's wife.
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nec mirum: bene nam ualetis omnes,
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7
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No wonder: you all enjoy the best health,
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pulcre concoquitis, nihil timetis,
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8
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your digestions are excellent, you have nothing to be afraid of:
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non incendia, non graues ruinas,
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9
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fires, dilapidations,
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non facta impia, non dolos ueneni,
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10
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cruel pilferings, plots to poison you,
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non casus alios periculorum.
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11
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other chances of danger.
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atque corpora sicciora cornu
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12
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And besides this, your bodies are as dry as horn,
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aut siquid magis aridum est habetis
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13
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or drier still if drier thing there be,
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sole et frigore et esuritione.
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14
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what with sun and cold and fasting.
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quare non tibi sit bene ac beate?
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15
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How you be otherwise than well and prosperous?
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a te sudor abest, abest saliua,
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16
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You are free from sweat, free from spittle,
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mucusque et mala pituita nasi.
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17
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and rheum and troublesome running of the nose.
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hanc ad munditiem adde mundiorem,
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18
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To this cleanliness, add an even cleaner one,
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quod culus tibi purior salillo est,
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19
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that your anus is purer than a little salt-cellar,
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nec toto decies cacas in anno;
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20
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and you defecate no more than ten times in a whole year,
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atque id durius est faba et lapillis.
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21
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and that is harder than a bean or pebbles;
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quod tu si manibus teras fricesque,
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22
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if you were to squeeze it or rub it with your hands,
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non umquam digitum inquinare posses
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23
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you could never dirty your finger.
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haec tu commoda tam beata, Furi,
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24
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Since you have such blessings as these, Furius,
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noli spernere nec putare parui,
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25
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do not despise them or think lightly of them;
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et sestertia quae soles precari
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26
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and cease to pray, as you do, for the hundred sestertia;
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centum desine: nam sat es beatus. |
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for you are quite well off enough as it is. |