The Marriage

Plot
Two lovers, Pamphilus and Delphium, are secretly married. Pamphilus is set to be married to a wife picked out for him by his father. Pamphilus and Delphium are accidently discovered kissing and fondling each other in a back room by the slave Pseudolus, who falls over crates and is seized by the lovers. They try to calm him down to make a deal with him about keeping their affair secret. He agrees only if they shower him with gifts of food, clothing and access to courtesans. Throughout the play Pseudolus taunts the couple by hinting at their affair in public. After failed attempts, Psuedolus repents and offers Delphium and Pamphilus asylum for a romantic getaway, only to lure the future wife of Pamphilus to the spot where the two lovers are basking in their love. In the end it is discovered that the girl betrothed to Pamphilus is actually in love with a soldier. Everyone gets married and is happy except Psuedolus, who is beaten for his misadventures.

Characters
Pseudolus- Scheming Slave
Pamphilus- Young man in love
Delphium- Courtesan, secret wife of Pamphilus
Gnatho- Parasite, accomplice of Pseudolus

Introduction: (Speaker turns to Audience)
Now folks if you'll be kind enough to hear me out, then I'll be kind and tell you what our play's about. Whoever doesn't want to listen, let him hear it. And give a seat to one of those in the back row who need it. I'll tell you why we have gathered in this festive spot, what comedy we will enact, its name and its plot. It is called "The Marriage," you see... but what kind of marriage will it be? This is for me to know and for you to SEE!!!!

Scene One: (Setting is an isolated room, away from the rest of the house of Pamphilus. Pamphilus and Delphium are speaking to one another in hushed tones)

Delphium: I'm sure you missed me, my pet, and cursed the day you thought of leaving me! (Pg. 296 The Mother in Law: Parmeno)

Pamphilus: I've been longing to come back, I can't tell you how much, dying to get away from her and see you all again, and be with you all free and easy like we always were. There I couldn't say a word without being told first what she wanted. (Pg. 296 The Mother in Law: Philotis)

Pamphilus: Delphium, my own, my darleng, don't torture yourself please. I swear I wouldn't do this if I didn't care or love anyone more than you. In these circumstances it has to be done. (Pg.168 The Eunuch: Thais)

Delphium: Quite so. Poor soul, I suppose you shut the door for the love of her! (Pg.169 The Eunuch: Parmeno) (They begin to give into the passion that has been delayed for days; clothes begin to fly everywhere and they kiss each other passionately. Just then a crash is heard and they freeze)

Pamphilus: What on earth's that? (Pg.305 The Mother in Law: Parmeno)

Delphium: Shhhh.....I can hear hurrying and running to and fro. (Pg.305 The Mother in Law: Pamphilus)

Pamphilus: Just let me near the door. Did you hear that? (Pg.305 The Mother in Law: Parmeno)

Delphium: Hush, please hush, my dear. (Pg.305 The Mother in Law: Myrrina)

Pamphilus: It sounded like my father. Oh this is too much! (Pg.305 The Mother in Law: Pamphilus)

Pseudolus: He's seen me! (To the Audience) (Pg.68 The Girl From Andros)

Pseudolus: (To Pamphilus) Look to your left. Who is that woman? (Pg.19 The Braggart Soldier: Palaestrio) (Pamphilus immediately throws a cloak over Delphium)

Pseudolus: Maybe you don't know the crime committed in your house today. (Pg.15 The Braggart Soldier: Sceledrus)

Pamphilus: Crime? What sort of crime? (Pg.15 The Braggart Soldier: Palaestrio)

Pseudolus: A dirty one!! (Pg.15 The Braggart Soldier: Sceledrus)

Pamphilus: Really? (Pg.59 The Girl from Andros:Simo)

Pseudolus: I don't know my future, but I know I'm sure of what I saw. (Pg.15 The Braggart Solider)

Delphium: (From under the cloak) How do you know? (Pg.52 The Girl From Andros: Charinus)

Pseudolus: Someone from our house has done a naughty thing from what I hear... (Pg.8 The Braggart Soldier: Palaestrio) (Delphium slowly takes off the cloak)

Pseudolus: You know you're finished, eh? (Pg.21 The Braggart Soldier: Palaestrio)

Pamphilus: Oh save your efforts, save your words as well, unless you'd like a lot of lashing for yourself. (Pg.134 The Haunted House: Tranio)

Pseudolus: Me? Of course I can. Listen, I stick to a promise-- but there are conditions. When I hear the truth spoken I can hold my tongue and keep quiet as well as anyone, but if it's a lie or an invention or a trumped up tale, it's out at once; I'm full of cracks and leak all over. So if you want a secret kept, madam, tell the truth.

Delphium: Truthfulness only makes you unpopular (Pg.42 The Girl from Andros)

Psuedolus: By Hercules, I won't be frightened out of seeing what I really saw!

Scene Two: (Pseudolus is out on the street and runs into Gnatho)

Gnatho: What's the matter? (Pg.57 The Girl from Andros)

Pseudolus: I'm done for. (Pg.67 The Girl from Andros)

Gnatho: How do you know? (Pg.52 The Girl from Andros)

Pseudolus: I doubt if the day's long enough for all I have to see to, so I don't imagine I've time to waste on talking. (Pg.73 The Girl from Andros: Davos)

Gnatho: (persistently) What are you getting at? I'm no good at riddles. (Pg.47 The Girl from Andros)

Pseudolus: Nothing at all (starts walking away) (Pg.59 The Girl from Andros)

Gnatho: Wait a minute, I want a word with you. (Pg.41 The Girl From Andros)

Pseudolus: Now he thinks I've stayed behind because I've got a trick up my sleeve. (Pg.59 The Girls from Andros: Davos)

Pseudolus: Whenever I try to tell you something you take me up for fooling ya. (Pg.63 The Girl From Andros: Davos)

Gnatho: What is it? (Pg.53 The Girl from Andros)

Pseudolus: Don't do anything rash and don't say ya haven't been warned. (Pg.48 The Girl from Andros)

Gnatho: (aggressively) I'm no good at riddles (Pg.47 The Girl from Andros)
(Gnatho starts beating Pseudolus because of mental anguish)

FINIS