The Affair

Prologue
Adulescens is scheduled to leave on a four-month business trip. During his preparations to leave, Meretrix, his love, informs him that her sister will be coming to stay with her in her house. In the chaos his preparations produced, Adulescens forgets about the visitor. While away, he hears a rumor that Pseudolus, his life-long slave, has been carrying on an affair with Meretrix. Adulescens returns home before schedule to confront this affair.

Synopsis
A young man, misguided by gossip, storms home early form a business trip to accuse his trusted slave of having an affair with his courtesan. In the end, the twin sister of the courtesan clears up this chaotic mess.

Characters
Adulescens: The young man in love
Pseudolus: His slave
Meretrix: A courtesan and Adulescens' true love
Cylindrus: Meretrix’s cook

Scene: Adulescens exits from his ship
Adulescens: aside I’m sure its something awful which they are keeping from me. (The Mother In Law p. 305) I’m going in straight away to get to the bottom of this. (The Mother In Law p.305). Adulescens storms to Meretrix’s house and finds Pseudolus waiting out in front. This is the perfect opportunity to confront this betrayal.

Adulescens: By the immortal gods, what am I seeing with my very eyes? (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 121). Pseudolus sees him walking towards him and attempts to greet him.

Pseudolus: Unexpectedly I greet you, see you after so much time. (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 128)

Adulescens: Angrily I’ve been pounding in my head a lot of pondering. Deep in me words have been wandering. Things roll around in my mind-- If I do have a mind-- And I’ve thought and I’ve sought many answers to find. (The Haunted House p. 135)

Pseudolus: In a state of bewilderment What’s this? Have I done you wrong? (The Haunted House p. 139)

Adulescens: Furious For sure! (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 124) I’m barely in control, I’d fly right at that evil bitch’s eyes (The Haunted House p.140)

Pseudolus: Still confused and becoming deeply annoyed What joke is this? (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 121)

Meretrix opens her front door to find out whose voices are raised in front of her home. To her great surprise, her true love is in front of her. Disregarding the argument in her pure excitement, she eagerly runs to him.

Meretrix: How wonderful! (The Eunuch p. 181) She heavily drapes her arms over his bold, muscular shoulders.

Adulescens: Not at all! (The Haunted House p. 143) He shoves her to the side.

Meretrix: Noticing his anger What’s the matter with you? What’s all the excitement? Lovingly Where’ve you come from? (The Eunuch p. 181)

Adulescens: Looking at Meretrix I don’t know where to begin-- it’s all so unexpected. Where can I start on all I’ve seen and heard? (The Mother In Law p. 307)

Meretrix: What do you mean? (The Eunuch p. 181)

Adulescens: I mean your affair! (The Eunuch p. 180)

Pseudolus: Now just a minute, please! (The Haunted House p. 184)

Meretrix: Mercy me, this man’s drunk (The Girl From Andros p. 77)

Pseudolus: Annoyed What did you say? (The Eunuch p. 180) What sort of nonsense is this? (Lysistrata p. 411)

Meretrix: Astonished at the accusation My word, that’s a clever one! He can turn a fool into a gibbering idiot in no time. (The Eunuch p. 175)

Pseudolus: You must mean something else. (The Eunuch p. 180)

Meretrix: Please, my sweet, let’s stop the jokes and go inside together… mmm? (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 94)

Adulescens: Do you get some pleasure making fun of me, denying the things, things completely true. (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 93).

Meretrix: Disgusted at the accusation of having had an affair. Do you think me so spiritless and unfeeling, so cruel and unnatural? Could I remain unmoved when thoughts of our love and association and my sense of honour all prompt me to keep my word? (The Girl From Andros p. 51)

Adulescens: Aside It’s my own fault, I admit it, for being such a stupid fool and trusting my affairs to a slave. I’m paying the price for my folly, but he shan’t go unpunished. (The Girl From Andros p. 68) To Pseudolus It was only after I told you I loved her you took a fancy to her (The Girl From Andros p. 70)

Pseudolus: Not at all (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 123)

Meretrix: Realizing that Adulescens must be referring to the affair Pseudolus is having with her sister. To Adulescens How good’s your memory? (The Braggart Solider p. 4)

Adulescens: I’ll remember, but I’d ask why I should remember. (The Braggart Solider p. 40)

Meretrix: Looking towards her front door where two of her maids had assembled to watch the argument. Someone call inside and tell my cook Cylindrus to come out (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 85)

Cylindrus pokes her head from behind the front door a minute later

Meretrix: Bring her out here! (Lysistrata p. 421)

Adulescens: puzzled What did you say? (The Eunuch p. 181)

Pseudolus: Now amused You’ll see, when the facts soak in. (Lysistrata p. 380) Looking at Adulescens You wouldn’t talk like that if you knew me and my feelings. (The Girl From Andros p. 70)

Meretrix: Aside And I can tell you what sort of a fact; lover’s quarrels are a renewal of love (The Girl From Andros p. 65)

Cylindrus exits the house with Meretrix’s twin sister

Adulescens: Stunned Why…your reflection (The Brothers Menaechmus p. 127) Aside What?? Oh no!! Looking at both Meretrix and Pseudolus I was only pulling your leg. (The Eunuch p. 181).

The four of them live happily ever after.

FINIS